Mr. Melancholy Wants to Live a Peaceful Life
by 青色羽翼/Cyan Wings
CHAPTER 115
Everyone looked where Yu Hua was pointing and saw that next to the oval table, at the base of the living room wall, was a strip of acupressure mat.
Zhen Li and Yuan Luori barely hesitated. They reflexively executed sliding kneels towards the acupressure mat. This was the move they practiced most during the livestreams. Their postures was perfect, their movements skilled.
But even faster than them was the husky with speed powers. It took one leap and flew over their heads, rushing to land first on the acupressure mat. Owing to the limitations of its body, Director Ha simply lay down on the acupressure mat to display that it was prostrating itself.
The acupressure mat wasn’t big to start with. With the husky occupying more than half of it, Zhen Li and Yuan Luori couldn’t occupy the high ground. They both looked vexed. Luckily, the parrot made a good showing on Yuan Luori’s behalf. The parrot stepped onto the husky’s head to indicate that it was there, too.
The Protectors sitting at the oval table looked at Zhen Li and Yuan Luori’s expressions. How could they still not know that they had been aware of the situation? They instantly had a feeling of being betrayed.
“You two…” Lian Yufan pointed at the two people kneeling precisely on the acupressure mat. He thought, he was the person who had recommended Zhen Li to join the Protectors, but the candid and simple Zhen Li turned out to be the biggest liar!
“Zhen Li, do you still remember what I said the first time I met you?” Yu Hua said to the kneeling people.
“I don’t dare to forget a word. Which one do you mean?” Zhen Li asked.
“I said that I don’t have that sort of feudal hobby,” Yu Hua said loftily.
Zhen Li and Yuan Luori totteringly stood up. Director Ha also slowly climbed to its feet and crouched silently to one side, presenting itself as a law-abiding husky.
“But I don’t know whether the Protectors have any hobbies of that nature. Right?” Yu Hua said.
Zhen Li and Yuan Luori: “…”
The two of them leaned against each other and looked timidly at Director Xiao and the other Protectors. Zhen Li’s expression was woebegone. He quietly said, “How about you eat sitting down, and we eat kneeling, and Director Ha uses a dog bowl.”
“Enough, get up,” Director Xiao said. “Such a strong power—all it would take was mental control so you two couldn’t say a word. There was nothing you could do. Anyway, one of you is a full Protector, and the other is a Protector in his trial period. With that capacity, even if you die, you still have to die standing up. Kneeling is an embarrassment!”
“Yes, sir!” Zhen Li stood up happily and politely said to Director Xiao, “I pledge to defend the dignity of the Protectors with my life!”
Thereupon he got up, sat down beside Cen Xiao, and took a bowl and chopsticks for himself.
Cen Xiao: “…”
He looked closely at Zhen Li’s beautiful, stupid face and no matter what couldn’t imagine that this kind and honest harmless face had been lying to them all along.
Yuan Luori and Director Ha also totteringly stood up. Yuan Luori sat next to Zhen Li, while Director Ha smartly crouched at Lian Yufan’s feet. After all, Lian Yufan had been the one to train it at the beginning.
Lian Yufan stroked the dog’s head. He was pleased to see Director Ha come to him. He thought that the dog was the only honest one of all the studio’s members. A dog really was a man’s best friend, and petting an animal’s fur really could contribute to stress relief.
Seeing Lian Yufan slowly petting its head, Director Ha comfortably narrowed its eyes. Yu Hua gave a cold laugh. “Let me make an introduction. This Director Ha is Destroyer 192. The last time it switched bodies it accidentally ended up in a dog’s body.”
Lian Yufan’s hand stiffened. The scene once more became exceedingly awkward.
All the people at the table had taken part in the operation to encircle and suppress Destroyer 192, including You Zhengping, Zhen Li, Yuan Luori, and Director Xiao! After all, of all the members of the studio, Destroyer 192 had caused the greatest damage. He had nearly destroyed a building, had used Junjun and three other innocent children as hostages, had blown up one of You Zhengping’s arms, and had shattered Lian Yufan’s spine.
Even Luo Huai had only been transferred to the Xuyang District because of Destroyer 192’s appearance.
At this, even the formerly composed Director Xiao hit the table and stood, glaring at the seemingly harmless husky.
Director Ha saw the twenty-eight eyes of the fourteen protectors looking down on it from their superior vantage points. It gave a quiet howl and lay down, covering its face with two paws.
Cen Xiao looked at Director Ha, then glanced beside him at Zhen Li and Yuan Luori with their heads down, staring fixedly at their bowls and chopsticks. He understood. His face full of a complicated expression, he said, “Did you two also know about this?”
Zhen Li and Yuan Luori nodded their heads in chorus.
The Protectors felt pained. The two members of the studio who seemed the stupidest had been hiding so many secrets.
“Is there anything you don’t know?” Cen Xiao said, looking at Zhen Li in disappointment.
Zhen Li quietly said, “I didn’t know that Officer Cen was one of the people who beat me up at the beginning, and I didn’t know that Officer You was the person who arrested me.”
“…Our positions were reversed then, weren’t they?” Cen Xiao met Zhen Li’s eyes a little awkwardly.
Zhen Li also looked at him in some disappointment. “I thought that the Officer Cen who kept inviting me out to eat was the only normal person around me, an auxiliary policeman who didn’t have a high salary but was very warm-hearted. After I became a Protector, I wanted to work hard to render meritorious service and then quietly ask our superiors whether I could arrange for you to take a test to become a full member of the police.”
Cen Xiao said, “That’s the nature of my work. I have my duty.”
Zhen Li said, “I was compelled. It was a matter of life and death.”
Their beautiful illusions had shattered simultaneously.
Along with theirs, Lian Yufan’s were also shattered. He was on his guard against heaven and earth and Yu Hua. After so long as an undercover agent at the studio, any advertising company representative that came near the studio looked like a Destroyer to him. But he hadn’t suspected Director Ha. From beginning to end, he had thought it was a good dog, a heroic dog whose special ability had awoken in a dangerous moment to protect Junjun. But it turned out to be the one who had caused the most damage to the Xuyang District. Because of it, the central park had had to close for repairs!
“Wooo.” Director Ha rubbed Lian Yufan’s leg with its head, looking like it was begging for forgiveness.
Director Xiao, who had been through great storms, pressed down on his temples and said to Yu Hua, “Did you awaken its special ability, or was it the world law? Also, its speed ability is completely different from Destroyer 192’s previous ability.”
Yu Hua said, “Destroyer 192 lost his body, and his soul merged completely with a local husky. The special ability it displays is a sled dog’s instinct. When it obtained the world law’s acknowledgment, its special ability awakened for the sake of protecting Junjun.”
“The black-cloaked man got rid of Destroyer 192 then. I thought he had died,” Director Xiao said, pointing out the crux of the matter.
Yu Hua held his arm and smiled in a constrained way. “That would have been a pity.”
The place where he held his arm was just where You Zhengping’s arm had been broken by Destroyer 192.
The room instantly went deathly still. The squad members who had been quietly talking amongst themselves instantly didn’t dare to even breathe too loudly. They looked at Yu Hua with horrified expressions.
Just in time, You Zhengping came out carrying the fried fish. “The food’s all ready. Why are you all looking at me?”
As soon as he walked out of the kitchen, his colleagues looked at him with a…heroic expression, as though beholding a martyr.
“Nothing, nothing.” Cen Xiao and the squad shook their heads at the same time. They had watched You Zhengping and Yu Hua dating from the beginning. They hadn’t noticed that Yu Hua had such a vengeful disposition. They…
They were lucky to still be alive, Cen Xiao and the others thought simultaneously.
You Zhengping put the fragrant fried fish in front of Cen Xiao and said, “There, I know you like fried fish. Yu Hua made it specially for you.”
Cen Xiao looked at the blackened thing on the plate and thought that the fish hadn’t looked like this before. When Yu Hua had brought it out, it had been golden on both sides. How did it turn into charcoal when you were just sent to keep an eye on the fire? Did Yu Hua make this fish specially for me, or did he specially let me have a look at what it was originally like and then leave the fish to Captain You?
Cen Xiao saw that You Zhengping could still maintain a normal expression at this moment and had to sigh about what a truly unusual person You Zhengping was. He had thought at first that with Yu Hua hiding the black-cloaked man identity for so long, it amply showed the depth of his thinking; it really wasn’t a good match. But now, looking at You Zhengping, who could be so perceptive but who at times seemed blind, he suddenly thought that he and Yu Hua were perhaps made for each other.
Director Xiao glanced at his subordinates with all their varying expressions, and Director Ha, who didn’t even dare to wag its tail and had its eyes closed waiting for death. He finally spoke. “There’s a traditional point of view that believes that after a guilty person has passed the Naihe Bridge and thrown himself into the animal path, then his crime will be washed away when he is reborn. It would be going overboard to pursue the crimes of its past life.”
Director Ha relaxed and trotted over to Director Xiao’s feet, rubbing his calf with its head, leaving dog hair on Director Xiao’s dark colored wool pants.
Summer was shedding season for huskies. It was constantly shedding. This made the janitor Yuan Luori adore the vacuum cleaner.
Director Xiao stared at the fur on his pants and the ignorant-looking Director Ha. He took a deep breath and said, “But that’s the dross of superstition.”
Director Ha: “…”
It stood up and folded its two front paws, wobbling up and down, making a “begging for pardon” gesture.
Director Xiao found that now that the once heavily laden with crimes Destroyer 192 had turned into a husky, he really couldn’t work up any hatred towards it. He only casually said, “Even in the modern era, when a criminal has received his punishment and is released from jail, as long as he doesn’t reoffend, then his past crimes won’t be looked into, either. We can count you as having received your punishment.”
“Awooo.” Director Ha thanked Director Xiao in a voice below fifty decibels.
In a few short minutes, the people at the table had gone through life and death, love and hate, separation and reunion, going from great terror to dripping anxiety. They were wrung out and starving. They only wanted to try the very homelike food in front of them.
Even if it was a Hongmen Banquet, they were still going to eat their fill first.
Director Xiao thought that for Yu Hua to have chosen this moment to reveal his identity, he must have something important to say. If there was anything to say, it would be better to discuss it over dinner.
The majority of the people had sat down. Only two were left standing woodenly in the center of the room. Huan Zixu’s face was pale. There wasn’t a drop of blood in his lips. From time to time he titled back and only stayed standing with Feng Kui’s support.
“Why don’t you come over and eat with us?” After Yu Hua had settled the others, he finally turned his gaze onto the two of them.
A dish had at some point appeared in Yu Hua’s hand. In the dish was a very unique alloy. It seemed very light, similar to the texture of human bone.
“This has been prepared specially with Feng Kui’s tastes in mind,” Yu Hua said. “Without fully unsealing my power, I couldn’t use the rules to make this alloy out of metals that previously didn’t exist in this world.”
Clever as Huan Zixu was, he instantly understood the purpose of this metal.
He turned to look at Feng Kui. An unprecedented courage welled up in the depths of his heart. He went up to Yu Hua and said in loud and clear voice, “If you want me to kneel, I’ll kneel!”
Then Huan Zixu strode over to the acupressure mat. Copying Zhen Li and Yuan Luori, he knelt in an unpracticed posture.
Author's Note
Yu Hua (what he says): No, no, no, we’re in the modern era, the Great Qing has passed away, I’m not interested in some bullshit feudal superstition.
Yu Hua (his actual actions): Silently dragging the acupressure mat in front of Huan Zixu.
Huan Zixu: Using the bravest tone to say the most cowardly words.