Mr. Melancholy Wants to Live a Peaceful Life

by 青色羽翼/Cyan Wings

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CHAPTER 51


The Xuyang District’s largest escape room game was dark and strictly confidential. Only five people were allowed in at a time. Taking photographs with your phone was forbidden. Employees hid in the shadows to scare people. There were prompters before going into the escape room, forbidding people to injure the employees. Then, emphasized, it said that the employees were only there to scare you, they wouldn’t hurt you, please don’t kick or punch. 

You Zhengping had said that he wanted to protect Yu Hua, so he paid more money to buy five people’s tickets when in reality only he and Yu Hua went in. 

Seeing the two of them go in, Huan Zixu followed closely after with Feng Kui and said to the employee at the entrance, “We’re employees.” 

As he spoke, Huan Zixu got out a piece of white paper and gave it to the employee. The employee let the two of them pass as though they were old acquaintances. 

“False exchange,” by the illegal exchange of items of value (commonly called bribery), used the exchange of a certain item to change the “impression” of a certain target individual or certain interested group sharing some characteristic. “False exchange” was irreversible, no returns and no exchanges. For a single person, the exchange item was only symbolic; it could be gum, which had a slight price, or it could be the white paper, which had an extremely low value. For a group exchange item, however, the demands for quantity were much higher. 

While picking up the movie tickets, You Zhengping had suspected their identities and had been about to get Cen Xiao to report it to the organization. While Huan Zixu wasn’t aware of You Zhengping’s identity as a Protector, Feng Kui had looked like he wanted to eat the ticket machine at the time, and You Zhengping had been closest to them. For security, Huan Zixu had casually given him the bottle of gum, changing You Zhengping’s “impression” of them into ordinary passersby, so You Zhengping had forgotten to report the event. 

The “impression” wasn’t limited to only themselves. In the Chinese restaurant, Huan Zixu had changed the “impressions” of the guests in the private room and the cashier; these were the reserving a private room “impression” and the having already collected payment “impression.” 

The “false exchange” ability didn’t seem to have any power to hurt, but its genuine use was rather frightening. 

For example, You Zhengping and Yu Hua were a deeply attached couple. If Huan Zixu was especially heartless and changed You Zhengping’s “impression” towards Yu Hua, then it was very likely You Zhengping would forget that Yu Hua was his husband and regard him as something like a roommate or ordinary friend. 

If Huan Zixu gave a certain Protector a box of small but numerous fruit candies and ordered that person to go back to the Protection Organization and give each person a candy, “false exchange” would spread from that person throughout the group, and the idea Huan Zixu wanted to give the Protection Organization would be transmitted to each person’s brain. Using only a cheap box of fruit candies, he could give each person who took a candy the “impression” that “the black-cloaked man is an enemy, a murderer.” 

Changing “enemy” to “teammate,” “lover” to “foe,” “nobody” to “close kin,” confounding white and black, confusing true and false—that was the power of “false exchange.” 

There were quite a few levelers who chose the “false exchange” ability, but the majority of them died before reaching fifty levels. The reason was that this ability was too frightening. Even their teammates wouldn’t dare to let such a person stay beside them, scared that they would have their thoughts changed. 

Who would trust such a scheming person who could silently change their own people? Low level “false exchange” didn’t have any great power. Initially it was only the ability to barter, such as exchanging a small rock for a piece of bread; people with strong enough willpower could resist the “bribe.” But as the level increased, the brainwashing ability deepened, and the “false exchange” user became too powerful. 

The more you understood this ability, the more you would want to kill its user. Those who killed the “false exchange” ability users were often the teammates they trusted most. 

Under a hundred levels, such a powerful ability user required the attentive care of their teammates to flourish, but after a hundred levels, they were hard to rival. 

No one was willing to give a “false exchange” user the chance to flourish, apart from Feng Kui. 

In their first hundred levels, Huan Zixu had slowly developed under Feng Kui’s protection. In the latter ninety-one levels, Huan Zixu had used the “false exchange” ability to take Feng Kui fleeing here and there, running for their lives from high level hunters. 

Huan Zixu was well aware that if Feng Kui hadn’t gradually abandoned his humanity, perhaps he also would have been unable to control his suspicions during the course of the game and would in end the have killed Huan Zixu before fifty levels. But Feng Kui had chosen the path to destroy his humanity. Feng Kui didn’t consider trust and mishaps between people. He hadn’t left himself the opportunity. 

Precisely because of this, anything that Feng Kui didn’t suspect, Huan Zixu suspected; as Feng Kui gradually lost characteristics such as kindness, Huan Zixu preserved them for him; as Feng Kui gradually lost his humanity, Huan Zixu’s humanity became increasingly complex and questioning. 

Suspicion, variation, prudence, extreme caution… Huan Zixu didn’t trust anyone, including the mission target being pursued by the System. He had to use every possible means to test the mission target before determining whether to work with him. 

Going into the escape room through the employee corridor, Huan Zixu found two of the escape room’s employees, gave them the “impression” that they could take a break, and invited them to leave the area to rest. There were surveillance monitors in the employee corridor; they could see the melancholy husbands at the entrance, reading the introduction to the escape room. 

“There’s only the four of us left. Connect to the surveillance images, change the scene,” Huan Zixu ordered. 

Feng Kui’s eyeballs rotated. The fronts of his eyeballs were camouflage, like the eyes of crash test dummies. When they turned, they became two virtual screens. Innumerable data flashed over them. Feng Kui opened the surveillance system’s Cloud storage website. The Cloud storage’s address, username, and password flashed over his eyes. His System connected to the surveillance images to observe the melancholy husbands’ location. 

After connecting to the surveillance system, Feng Kui went into the escape room, guarding Huan Zixu. Before the melancholy husbands went through the door, he tapped the escape room, changing the escape room’s original underground tomb into a metal space of complex mechanical structures. 

Feng Kui could completely control this escape room made entirely out of alloys. The cell phone signals inside the escape room were blocked. They could move around all the rooms at will and plant countless traps inside them. 

Feng Kui didn’t touch the escape room’s original main structure. His System storage space contained countless high tech alloys. In 199 worlds, whenever he encountered a technological world, he would store away all kinds of alloys like a hamster. All of Feng Kui’s points were used up on upgrading, equipping larger System storage and saving alloys. His combat mode was singular but powerful. 

This was an evolutionary model that Huan Zixu had designed for Feng Kui. Huan Zixu had believed all along that the System wouldn’t give them points for nothing, and the points had to be used on a knife blade, not on equipping some convoluted items. They had to concentrate on using the points to upgrade their power and equip weapons, raise their own abilities. 

Too many complicated items would vary their powers, and they would be unable to focus on improving their origin abilities. If the System took away their points one day, the only cards they would have left in their hands would be their origin power. 

In fact, Huan Zixu hadn’t chosen wrong. After two hundred levels, the System would close down the channel to equip items, and all their points would become waste paper. Levelers who hadn’t become powerful before two hundred levels would all be killed by high level players. 

Covering up the grave scene in the escape room with super alloys wouldn’t harm the building, but once Feng Kui had changed the structure of the escape room, once he removed the super alloys, all the construction and installations apart from the escape room’s main walls would be scrapped; the decoration costs would have gone to waste. 

You Zhengping finished carefully reading the escape room’s introduction. The general idea was that they were a team of archeologists trapped in an ancient tomb. The ancient tomb was full of traps and monsters. They would have to go through innumerable hardships and hazards to get out alive. They walked into the main coffin chamber. The scenery in front of them was shocking. It was truly hard to imagine that the ancient people had actually had such frightening technology. They saw…

When he was finished with the introduction, You Zhengping, who hadn’t done an escape room before, expectantly took Yu Hua’s hand and opened the door to the main coffin chamber. The silver white metal texture of the “tomb” stupefied You Zhengping. 

“Isn’t it in defiance of the natural order for ancient people to have had this kind of technology? Is this an ancient tomb? Has the business misunderstood something about tombs?” You Zhengping asked in astonishment, stroking a super alloy wall. 

“Have we gone into the wrong room?” You Zhengping got out his phone, wanting to search for the experiences of players who had experienced the escape room, but he found that the phone had no signal. “No way, they’re blocking the signal, too. What if someone suddenly falls ill inside the escape room? You can’t do that, I’m not going to take pictures and post them online.” 

As he spoke, You Zhengping turned his head, but he found that the entrance had disappeared, becoming one with the metal wall. 

He walked forward and touched the place they where the entrance had been. He found that the door fit seamlessly with the wall. There were no gaps. He couldn’t find where the door had been. 

“This is… Are escape rooms so costly now?” You Zhengping said doubtfully. 

Yu Hua coldly swept his gaze over the surroundings, inwardly appraising these two Destroyers’ abilities and the crimes they had committed since coming to this world. 

What Yu Hua knew so far was that they had swapped reservation numbers for the private room; that amounted to fraud, but they hadn’t appropriated any goods, only a number. Jumping in line wasn’t ethical behavior, but it wasn’t against the law. They had used “false exchange” to cover up for the 100 yuan expense for the seats the two of them had used; that sum would in the end fall on the cashier at the time. This lay between fraud and stealing, but the amount of money was insufficient for a criminal penalty. It belonged in the civil sphere; they only had to compensate the individual for their loss after going through mediation. 

These first two weren’t serious crimes, but illegally altering a commercial area and imprisoning the auxiliary policeman You Zhengping amounted to destroying private property and assaulting a police officer. But if they were willing to help the escape room’s owner renovate, the owner may even pay them for it. As for assaulting a police officer… The circumstances were light; it would be a matter of detention at most. 

It seemed that the only thing they could be seriously punished for was kidnapping, Yu Hua deliberated. 

Since learning of You Zhengping’s identity as a Protector, Yu Hua had determined to a good wife and uphold the law, firmly support his Xiao You’s work; if something didn’t violate the law, he couldn’t act. 

For Destroyer 192’s sort of crime, a hundred deaths wouldn’t have been excessive. These two now hadn’t caused especially large losses yet. There was no dignified reason to find fault with them. 

As You Zhengping was observing the silver white alloy wall, a line of green characters appeared on the wall: You enter the tomb and find that everything exceeds your imagination. This is no ancient tomb. Could the ancients really have have such a high tech society? Did aliens truly leave their traces on earth? You are very curious. This is a major archaeological discovery. You decide to run the risk of exploring the depths of the tomb. Just then, the wall in front of you splits open. A passage appears. 

You Zhengping: “…” 

The wall really did split open, and a path that could only admit one person appeared. It felt extremely high teach. You Zhengping was a little dumbfounded. “No… Did the escape room really spend this much money?” 

You Zhengping was only an idiot in love; he wasn’t really stupid. Everything he saw gave him misgivings. When he had said he wanted to look up a how-to online, he had actually wanted to secretly notify the organization, but he had found that his phone had no signal. 

The organization’s signal was of the same intensity as for emergency calls with no signal. Even in an area where the signal was being blocked, it could still send out an SOS. But this escape room blocked even the emergency signal. An ordinary business’s blocker couldn’t do that. 

You Zhengping seemed curious, when in reality he was already on his guard. He was keenly aware of the wisdom of being in hiding while your enemy was in the open, and he had his real face on display. If he revealed his identity but couldn’t capture the enemy, then his parents, relatives, and friends would all meet with danger. 

And then there was Yu Hua, entirely unaware, following behind him. The pure Yu Hua didn’t know about the existence of Destroyers and special ability users and really took this place for an escape room. You Zhengping clenched his fist and told himself that he had to protect Yu Hua. 

They were isolated and without help, and he didn’t know why the enemy would have fixed on them. Rather than deliberately exposing his identity, it was better to beat them at their own game, play dumb, and go through the room according to the enemy’s hints. 

A passage that only admitted one person…

You Zhengping contemplated slightly, then simply took off his shirt, revealing the muscular flesh of his arms and his beautiful abs. He casually tore the half-sleeved shirt in half and twisted it into a sturdy and long enough rope, which he tied around his own and Yu Hua’s waists, then tied a knot specially used by Protectors that wouldn’t easily come undone. 

“The business has put down so much money, they’ll definitely have thought of ways to separate us, then send employees to scare us when we’re on our own. It’s very not nice,” You Zhengping said, deliberately mischievous. “I’ve tied us together like this, and you remember to keep hold of my hand and not let the business succeed.” 

“Xiao You is so clever.” Yu Hua’s gaze swept over You Zhengping’s abs. He took his husband’s hand. “I’ll rely entirely on your protection.” 

Faced with the enemy, You Zhengping was always clever. Whether it was the first time, when he had no experience and had discovered Zhen Li’s identity, or at the amusement park, when he had learned the use of his third space on his own, or when he had protected four children from Destroyer 192’s meticulous plans, You Zhengping’s combat sensitivity was absolutely first rate. 

It was just that he used all his silliness and ease on Yu Hua, relaxing and showing his foolish side in front of his husband. At any rate, the first time they had met, You Zhengping had lost face for the rest of his life. In front of Yu Hua, You Zhengping was willing to hand over his head and let his husband do the worrying. 

Faced with battle, You Zhengping definitely wouldn’t make any mistake. 

Seeing Xiao You smiling brightly at him, leading him into the passage by the hand, Yu Hua’s heart beat wildly. 

It was his first time seeing Xiao You facing battle directly. His husband was like a cheetah; faced with the enemy, his judgement was unwavering and his power was astonishing. He was the best hunter in the wilderness. 

In Yu Hua’s eyes, the Protectors and the Destroyers pursuing him were all weak. Between a brown ant only the size of a grain of rice and large, flying black ant, it was still only the difference between ant and ant. In front of humans, it wasn’t a very big difference. 

This time, two rather large ants were trying to consume an elephant. You Zhengping had said he wanted to protect him, and Yu Hua had only taken it as a source of interest. He hadn’t faced You Zhengping’s powers directly. 

But in this instant, seeing You Zhengping quickly entered combat mode, a small feline animal vainly using its weak arms to protect him, Yu Hua faced You Zhengping’s powers directly for the first time. 

Yu Hua raised his hand and held You Zhengping’s weak but sturdy and muscular arm. You Zhengping turned. There was no anxiety in his face. It was his usual leisurely, joking expression. There was only a trace of battle readiness hidden in his eyes. 

“Be sure to protect me well.” Yu Hua lowered his head and rested it against You Zhengping’s bare shoulder. “I’m leaving my safety up to you.” 

You Zhengping looked at Yu Hua. His husband must only have been thinking of this as game; he didn’t really know how much danger they were in, right? But it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t even give Yu Hua a chance to sense the danger. 

“Of course,” You Zhengping said, smiling. 

Though the passage only admitted one person, the melancholy husbands stuck so close together that there was no latitude for them to separate. Huan Zixu, keeping constant watch on the surveillance, frowned. “Why are they so clingy? Never mind tying themselves together, Yu Hua is nearly hugging You Zhengping. Release the hidden weapons, force them to separate!” 

Huan Zixu only had one target in mind: Yu Hua, who had a close connection to Zhen Li’s studio. He wasn’t planning on touching You Zhengping. 

For one thing, You Zhengping was an auxiliary policeman. While he didn’t have a formal position, he was still law enforcement personnel. If he was away from his post, it would quickly be noticed by the law enforcement department. They were powerful and dynamic. Huan Zixu didn’t want that. Second, he didn’t want to implicate family members. Yu Hua joining Zhen Li’s studio was his bad luck, and anyway he might be more or less aware of the levelers’ secrets and not be an outsider at all, or necessarily innocent. But You Zhengping was totally unaware. Huan Zixu wouldn’t drag him in. 

You Zhengping, who was feeling the way, had his hand stuck close to the metal wall. Even if the enemy could easily control their traps, any change in the traps would create vibrations; a super alloy was still no exception. His sensory nerves were very acute. You Zhengping could sense the weakest vibrations. 

Yu Hua also maintained his “super hearing” the whole time. He heard Huan Zixu saying “release the hidden weapon” and became alert. About half a second later, his “super hearing” heard the minute metallic sound of a mechanism altering. Meanwhile, You Zhengping turned to hug Yu Hua and said, “I’ve found that this passage isn’t only big enough for one person. We’re both thin. If we hug each other, we can both get through.” 

As he spoke, You Zhengping turned while embracing Yu Hua, turning his back to the metal wall shooting out a hidden weapon. 

Yu Hua stared. You Zhengping’s sense of touch had discovered the position and direction of the trap at the same time as his “super hearing.” Was his Xiao You this aware? 

The moment he turned, the wall behind You Zhengping opened. Because of You Zhengping’s timely turn, the hidden weapon that should have attacked between the two of them, forcing them to separate, turned into an attack he bore alone. Countless tiny needles shot towards his back; looking at You Zhengping’s gaze, full of self-confidence, Yu Hua in the end didn’t act. 

He had said he would hand everything over to Xiao You, so he would trust him.

Then the thin, densely packed needles touched You Zhengping’s back, they became soft, leaving only small red points on his back, not hurting him. 

You Zhengping had opened a space about 1 cm thick behind himself. No matter what kind of metal hidden weapon this was, after having its power weakened to one tenth, it wouldn’t do much harm to him. But when the needles touched the surface of the space, You Zhengping felt something was off. He ran the risk of quickly removing the space and scattering the needles directly on his back. The sharp metal turned into rubber when it encountered human body temperature; they were harmless. If he had actually let the needles enter his second space, that would have revealed You Zhengping’s identity. 

“Wow! There really is a hidden weapon! It’s pretty realistic, I was scared to death. I thought I really was going to get stuck full of holes.” You Zhengping reaching out his arm, picked up a thin needle, and pinched it. “It’s rubber.” 

The enemy didn’t mean to kill them, and they weren’t going to reveal themselves! You Zhengping instantly judged the mental state of the person behind the scenes. 


Author's Note

Yu Hua: Xiao You is unusually sexy today. 

Huan Zixu: Feng Kui, do you think You Zhengping is really that lucky, or… Don’t eat the security camera! 

Feng Kui: Munch, much, just used my ability, I’m kind of hungry. 

You Zhengping: Why is everyone so relaxed? Am I the only nervous one? 


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