There was actually no need for anyone to get Su Qing drunk. He wanted to get himself drunk. He pried off the caps of two beer bottles at once. The caps fell. This gesture was as practiced and familiar as a bartender’s—and he had in fact worked in that profession; there weren’t many things in this world that he hadn’t done—then he stood one bottle in front of Hu Bugui with a clunk. Spilled beer poured down from the mouth of the bottle and onto his hand. 

Su Qing said, “I’ll drink a toast. You do as you like.” 

Then he gulped down the whole bottle. By his hand was a “dish to go with wine”—a small cup of baijiu. There seemed to be a note stuck to his head that read “drowning my sorrows in drink.” Su Qing threw down an empty bottle. In the midst of his pressing affairs, he found time to look at Hu Bugui and saw that Captain Hu really was “doing as he liked.” He was only looking at the beer bottle in his hand, not touching a drop. 

Su Qing shook his head. He didn’t feel like make a fuss about it. Minding his own business, he opened another bottle. 

Hu Bugui stood up and took a container of yogurt from the fridge, as well as a bag of Tu Tutu’s leftover pastries. He put them on the coffee table. “Eat something. Don’t hurt your stomach.” 

Su Qing nodded obediently. He didn’t respond, and he didn’t touch the food. 

Hu Bugui sighed faintly and bent down to pick up a custard bun, then brought it to Su Qing’s mouth. Su Qing made a slight dodge, his forehead furrowing gently. But he still took a bite. “Oh, give me a spiced salt one instead. I don’t like this.” 

Hu Bugui silently pulled apart the few remaining buns he suspected were spiced salt ones, then picked one to give to him. Watching Su Qing eating it from his hand, he quietly asked, “What’s wrong?” 

Su Qing didn’t seem tipsy. Playing stupid, he asked in turn, “Huh? What do you mean?” 

There were some people who probably had secret work in their bones. In practice, if they played “Legends of the Three Kingdoms¹,” they would pick enemy agent each time, and when they were so drunk they wouldn’t know their own mothers, they still knew what to say and what not to say. If they really couldn’t keep up, they would simply hold their tongues.  

When Su Qing was half drunk, Hu Bugui asked again, and earnestly advised him to stop drinking to avoid a hangover. Su Qing smiled but said nothing. 

When he was so drunk it took him an age to understand what was being said to him, Hu Bugui’s forehead was tightly furrowed. Tonight he had said “That’s enough, stop drinking, if there’s something making you unhappy, just say it, why wreck your health” no less than twenty times, but Su Qing had ignored it all as though it was the wind blowing past his ear. 

Hu Bugui said one final time, “What the hell is wrong with you?” Su Qing smiled foolishly at him and still didn’t say anything. Hu Bugui couldn’t resist going to grab the bottle in his hand. Su Qing hugged the bottle tightly like a miser, curling into the shape of shrimp in a corner of the couch. Slurring, he shouted, “You…you really are so fucking boring!” 

Hu Bugui sternly admonished him: “What is your problem? If there’s something to say, can’t you just say it? Give me that!” 

Su Qing continued to shout: “I won’t! Anyone who doesn’t fall over tonight is a rotten egg!” 

“You’re the rotten egg.” Hu Bugui simply held down his shoulder and snatched the bottle out of his hand. The half-bottle of alcohol inside it spilled all over Su Qing, and his shirt became nearly transparent, revealing the attractive lines of his waist. Hu Bugui averted his gaze and kicked him in the calf. “Get up, get washed, and go get in bed.” 

As a man of honor, Captain Hu in fact meant this “get in bed” purely in the literal sense. But Su Qing heard something not safe for children and smiled meaningfully. He sluggishly sat up on the couch and reached out a hand. Hu Bugui pulled him up. But Su Qing bonelessly threw himself at him, his fingers digging under the hem of Hu Bugui’s shirt. His slightly hot and dry palm slowly began to stroke the firm muscles of Hu Bugui’s waist. With his other hand, he stuck up an index finger by his mouth. Grinning, he lowered his voice and said, “Captain Hu, you really…really…have no tact.” 

Hu Bugui gave a start at his stroking. Grim-faced, he pulled his paw off himself and put it over his shoulder. “Don’t fool around.” 

Su Qing chuckled. “Fine, fine… I won’t fool around, you go ahead.” 

Hu Bugui simply didn’t know what to say to this libertine. Half-pulling and half-carrying, he tossed him onto the bed. Then, looking at his soaked shirt, he paused. He hesitated for a long moment, then, keeping his mind as free of distracting thoughts as possible, he bent his head to undo his buttons. But for some reason, his hand was shaking a little. 

The outcome of this shaking was that ages later, he had hardly undone any buttons. A drunkard’s patience is limited. Su Qing conscientiously lay there for hardly any time, then sat up, swearing, and very rudely caught Hu Bugui around the neck. Hu Bugui was unprepared and nearly got his head held down. Su Qing indistinctly said, “Lao Hu, are you up for it or not?” 

Hu Bugui pulled a long face and didn’t speak. When he had just pulled Su Qing’s arm off his neck, Su Qing plastered himself to him. His body temperature was a little high, and he smelled of alcohol, but it wasn’t at all unpleasant. Instead, it was like a small needle faintly stabbing Hu Bugui’s nerves. 

Su Qing’s slightly rapid breaths fell on his neck. His wet shirt was half open. He couldn’t quite keep his eyes open, but he still struggled to grip Hu Bugui’s collar. He searched for a direction, then began to nibble Hu Bugui’s lips. 

Hu Bugui had been sitting at the edge of the bed. When Su Qing pounced on him like this, his head buzzed, and he nearly fell to the floor. Finally he came to the end of his endurance, squeezed the back of Su Qing’s neck with a bit of force, and finally managed to calm him down slightly. 

Hu Bugui quickly pulled off Su Qing’s shirt, grabbed a pajama top hanging over the back of a chair, and wrapped it around him. He adjusted the temperature of the air-conditioning, pulled up the covers, then looked at Su Qing’s peaceful sleeping face. He couldn’t resist curling his fingers and tapping on his forehead, thinking, Fucking hell, do you really take me for Liuxia Hui²?

Then he skittered back to his own room as though running away. 

Long after, Su Qing asked him this question: he said, What kind of man of honor were you pretending to be? In the bar at the beginning, you were pretty open to all comers, weren’t you? 

Hu Bugui was silent, then said, Back then, I didn’t know you yet. 

A chance meeting followed by a separation. They didn’t know each other, they weren’t close; naturally there was no need to take special care. 

Su Qing slept mightily that night, and when he got up the next morning, his head hurt mightily. Then he saw a hangover remedy on his nightstand and quickly grabbed it and swallowed it at once. He remembered what he had gotten up to the night before, but in view of his shamelessness, he wasn’t planning on feeling embarrassed about it. 

When he had just washed off the smell of alcohol, Xue Xiaolu came over to pound on his door. As soon as she charged in, she saw the floor littered with bottles and Su Qing’s listless appearance. She was startled. “How come you can get drunk, too?” 

Su Qing lost his temper. “What, aren’t I human?” 

Xue Xiaolu’s expression changed. “Yes, yes, human! This is serious business, come with me quickly, there was a haunting in the treatment center last night!” 

Su Qing allowed her to pull him away. His head was still murky. He didn’t know what had happened overnight in the headquarters—after everyone had stopped working for the night, of the bodies delivered to the treatment center, one had somehow gone missing. 

The security system showed that “he” had gotten up and walked away. 

---

Translator's Note

¹Popular card game from 2008 based on the Romance of the Three Kingdoms; players take on various roles, including enemy agent.

²柳下惠, common appellation of Zhan Huo, an ancient politician known for his virtue.