Something's Not Right 

by Cyan Wings

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CHAPTER 19


Emperor Jingren felt no hangover upon waking up. Instead, he felt very refreshed. It wasn’t merely that yesterday’s experiences in the hunting grounds hadn’t left any negative impression on him; rather, he had slept very well.

The empress was always self-disciplined and never drank, yet last night she had indulged with him; he guessed that it was because she had wanted to console him after the encounter with the assassins. The empress’s method of consolation was unconventional, but Emperor Jingren had enjoyed it very much. Lying in bed thinking of the empress’s lips, his mouth curved into a slight smile. He was evidently in a good mood.

After lying there for a while, he heard movement in the outer room. The empress was returning after exercising and bathing. Emperor Jingren was actually a bit dissatisfied with this; he hoped he could one day wake up and see the empress sleeping next to him. But it had never happened. Either the empress woke him up to exercise, or he woke up on his own and found the empress out in the training field.

The empress had a fresh scent about her after her bath. Emperor Jingren had no need to get up and attend court, so he lay in bed watching the empress walk toward him step by step, then sit on the edge of the bed. When the empress was seated, Emperor Jingren took her hand and said a little dismally, “Why didn’t you wake me up to exercise today?”

The empress squeezed his hand, her large hand perfectly enclosing Emperor Jingren’s. She explained, “Your Majesty was drunk last night. When I got up to exercise, I saw that Your Majesty was sound asleep, so I couldn’t bear to wake you. I wanted you to sleep a little longer.”

“Yes,” Emperor Jingren said, nodding with an air of profundity, “drunkenness is harmful to one’s health. In the future, these drinking contests must be held only in moderation. However good your tolerance may be, too much wine is still bad for you.”

“That’s perfectly true. But it won’t hurt once in a while, as an exception.” The empress smiled as she looked at Emperor Jingren. She seemed very happy.

Thinking of those countless drunken kisses last night, Emperor Jingren blushed faintly. He felt a little gloomy about the fact that he had been too drunk to do anything, but he had never been kissed like that before; that was good enough.

So Emperor Jingren said, “As an exception, yes.”

Though his face was flushed, he put on a stern expression. The empress looked steadily at him for a time and couldn’t resist bending down…

“Your Majesty,” came Eunuch Lian’s voice from outside the room, “Commander Yan wishes to see you.”

Emperor Jingren, who had wanted to get close to the empress this morning, frowned slightly. The prim emperor had for once been in a rare special mood, but because someone wished to see him, he had to once again become a rational and remote ruler. Wasn’t this a tiring way to live?

Naturally Emperor Jingren couldn’t receive Yan Xu in his bedroom. He dressed, then went to the study next door and summoned Commander Yan. The empress meanwhile stayed behind in the bedroom and instructed the maids and eunuchs to tidy the room.

Eunuch Lian had meant to go wait upon Emperor Jingren, but the empress kept him back.

“Eunuch Lian,” the empress said placidly, “I have allowed you and Little Shunzi to remain all this time because, despite having your little schemes, you two have always been loyal to your posts, and you never attempted to harm His Majesty. The two of you have had the most opportunities to use incense out of everyone in the palace, yet you never have. This is why I have allowed you to remain.”

“Is that so?” With no one around, Eunuch Lian’s tone wasn’t the least bit respectful. He looked up at the empress and said, “We’re all starting from the same place, all relying on our abilities. You’ve been using your position to attack others. That’s… All right, it’s understandable, of course. But I’m curious about something. If His Majesty finds out that you’re a man, are you really not going to use incense? It’s seriously hypocritical to do it yourself when you won’t let the rest of us.”

Faced with Eunuch Lian’s threats, the empress was unmoved. She went on: “There is no need for you to concern yourself with how things stand between His Majesty and myself. I only want to tell you that in the future, when His Majesty is resting, except in the case of a genuine emergency, you must wait for His Majesty to get out of bed himself. His Majesty is quite self-disciplined. He won’t sleep in, only get a little extra rest once in a while. Please consider His Majesty’s health, Eunuch Lian. If this happens again, I think that I will require a eunuch who is more concerned about His Majesty’s health to hold the seal.”

Though the empress was master of the harem, there were a few important positions among the eunuchs that she couldn’t touch; holder of the seal was one of them. Eunuch Lian had been a trusted aide to the late emperor and had watched Emperor Jingren grow up. It was no common connection to have served a person from childhood; a few words from the empress wouldn’t be sufficient to put someone else in his place.

But at the same time, Imperial Physician Chen was an important member of the Imperial College of Medicine, and he had previously been the imperial physician Emperor Jingren trusted most. Yet now he was also being kept at a distance. With the right tactics, it wouldn’t be hard to switch eunuchs, either. Most importantly, the empress currently enjoyed great favor. His Majesty trusted the empress.

Eunuch Lian’s expression turned ugly. Enraged, he said with quiet vehemence, “I don’t know how you ever managed to fool His Majesty into trusting you with that face of yours. If you didn’t have…help, it’d be obvious to anyone that you’re a man, wouldn’t it? I thought my looks were bad enough, but you really lost out choosing abilities over looks. With that face, it doesn’t matter how good at fighting you are. Once you’re exposed, do you really think His Majesty will keep you on as empress?”

“There is no need for you to worry about that. But there is something I think you might want to know,” the empress said. “Everyone who came here was given the option to choose either looks or abilities. You, meanwhile, told everyone you had chosen abilities over looks. But in reality, neither your movements nor your voice are elderly. You’re young, yet you have the face of an old eunuch. You must have chosen both abilities and looks, right? Why do you think you were able to choose both, Eunuch Lian?”

“Because…” Looking at the empress, an expression of disbelief flashed across Eunuch Lian’s face.

“It seems you’ve guessed,” said the empress with a faint smile. “You were able to have both because one person chose neither. It was when I chose neither that I learned that only by giving up everything could one attain the position that made it easiest to gain the objective. And the greediest person who wanted more than his fair share would find it most impossible.”

“B-but your fighting skills… No way!” Eunuch Lian’s old face crumpled until it looked like an orange rind dried in the wind. He trembled as he looked at the empress.

“I have only ever been myself, unlike the rest of you, who use looks and abilities that do not belong to you.” Waving a hand, the empress said, “Go and think about it. Will you be loyal to me, act as my eyes and ears, or will you delude yourself with the possibility of victory and be my enemy? You know that if you lose here, you’ll just get nothing. But…over there, I can really make you regret it.”

“But…” Eunuch Lian stood there stiffly awhile, then bowed his head and said, “Permit me to think about it, My Lady.”

“Fine. But my patience is limited. Don’t drag it out on purpose. Also, I know that you are very reticent. Not a word of what can’t be said will get out. Isn’t that right?” Saying so, the empress put a hand on one of the low tables in the room. With a slight application of force, the hardwood table broke in pieces!

“I-I understand.”

Eunuch Lian left the room bent over. He was quite frightened.

Elsewhere, Yan Xu was reporting the outcome of his investigation to Emperor Jingren. After giving the report, Yan Xu couldn’t resist overstepping his authority to say, “Your Majesty, I believe you should increase your guards, both open and secret, and keep some large and strong guards around you. But there is no way of knowing what level the mastermind behind this has penetrated to. For Your Majesty’s safety, I am willing to stay by Your Majesty’s side day and night!”

Under extraordinary circumstances, some guards would indeed stay constantly by the emperor’s side. During such times, the emperor’s private affairs would be wholly exposed before his guards. Some especially brutal emperors would castrate these secret guards, so they couldn’t develop any inappropriate intentions toward the women of the harem.

But Emperor Jingren wasn’t that kind of person. He rarely used secret guards inside the palace, and even if he did summon the secret guards on duty, it wasn’t to guard him but to send them to do something else he needed doing. He considered, then nodded and said, “Add a group to each team of open guards, and double the secret guards in the temporary residence. We appreciate your loyalty, Commander Yan, but the Imperial Guard needs you as its commander. There is no need for you to be constantly with us.”

“Your Majesty!” Yan Xu knelt, performing a fist and palm salute. “I am concerned about Your Majesty’s safety and willing to hand the post of commander over to a subordinate. I only want to be Your Majesty’s personal guard at all times, to keep Your Majesty safe!”

“Nonsense!” Emperor Jingren said angrily. “A hundred thousand imperial guardsmen, the twenty-four squadrons, and the most crucial Embroidered Guard are all under your command. You occupy multiple concurrent positions. There is no room for laxness. We entrusted the Imperial Guard to you because we have faith in your abilities. In your position, you must bear the responsibility. Is casting aside your responsibilities on a whim the behavior of a man? Do not speak of this again. If you do, we will begin to doubt your suitability to be part of the Imperial Guard!”

Yan Xu was thwarted.


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