Huang Jinchen went into Kou Tong’s study saying he was going to tell him to come out and rest. Then…the two of them didn’t come out. 

Kou Tong’s mom thought it was a little strange, but she didn’t go knock on the door. She thought, her son was so grown-up, and he was doing very important work. If she went to knock on the door and ask what was going on over every little trifle, she would definitely become an annoying, nagging old woman to him. 

She was immensely pleased with her own open-mindedness and good sense, feeling that there were few such good-natured mothers in the world. 

Concerning Huang Jinchen’s unspeakable little gay love affair with her darling son, Kou Tong’s mom was conflicted for a bit, then thought… Well, never mind, let him do what he wants. 

For some reason, she couldn’t get into the mood to govern his behavior, even though, to her conventional gaze, this kind of combination wasn’t conventional enough. Even coming to the latter half of the twenty-first century, it still wasn’t a family structure welcomed by the general public. But…she had suddenly thought that there also wasn’t anything bad about it. 

If two people suited each other, whether one was a man or woman, old or young, they were still suited. 

There were some people who spent their whole lives adhering to rules and norms, and some who spent their whole lives being unconventional. In fact, it was hard to say who was happier. 

After a long time, the study door opened from the inside. Kou Tong’s mom had a facial mask stuck to her face and was calmly holding up a fashion magazine to read, just as if she wasn’t disturbed at all. 

Huang Jinchen carried Kou Tong out. He acted like a thief…and a successful one, at that, with a peculiar, lascivious smile on his face. He glanced furtively at Kou Tong’s mom, then gently closed the study door with his foot and softly carried Kou Tong, who had his head buried against his shoulder and may or may not have been awake, back to the bedroom. 

Only then did Kou Tong’s mom raise her head from the magazine, which she hadn’t turned a page of in a long time, and roll her eyes towards the ceiling. She thought, Kid, you think I won’t see if you sneak around like that? What sharp teeth bit my son’s neck all red like that? 

Then she was little displeased, but after considering it for two seconds, she thought that her displeasure wasn’t very reasonable, so she broad-mindedly put it aside, picked up a pen, and continued scribbling on the fashion magazine—these shoes were good, she would buy a pair; this dress was also good…

Kou Tong lay unmoving as a dead fish while Huang Jinchen cleaned him up and put him on the bed. His eyes were half-closed; he seemed ready to fall fast asleep any second. 

Looking wasn’t enough, so Huang Jinchen leaned down and resonantly kissed his lips. 

Kou Tong said, slightly indistinctly, “Enough… You’re so pleased with yourself your head’s about to start steaming.” 

Huang Jinchen whistled, then put a hand over his head and made an S shape. 

“Look, it is steaming.” 

Looking at his foolish face, Kou Tong was silent for a moment, then indolently drew back his lips and started to laugh. 

“Pull me up,” Kou Tong said. “…And next time, don’t pinch my waist so hard. I’m ticklish to begin with. No pinching allowed.” 

Huang Jinchen pulled him up and sat at the side of the bed. Kou Tong patted him on the back. “Go get me something to eat.” 

Huang Jinchen didn’t move. Looking fixedly at him, he quietly asked, “Do you like me?” 

Kou Tong looked at him and asked in turn, “If I say I don’t, are you planning on starving me to death?” 

Huang Jinchen, very openly and without conscience, nodded. 

“Loving and leaving.” Kou Tong shook his head. With a bitter expression, he said, “Unfaithful and capricious, heartlessly having your way. A modern day Chen Shimei¹… How did the limited resources of the world produce a scum among men like you?” 

Huang Jinchen indifferently expressed, All right, so I’m scum!

Kou Tong laughed. “I like you, all right?” 

Huang Jinchen nodded. Then he said, “I think that was a little insincere.” 

Kou Tong’s expression conveyed his thoughts: Fuck off! 

Huang Jinchen tugged at his sleeve and looked bashful. “Well, I want to hear it sincerely.” 

Kou Tong narrowed his eyes and looked at him. “You can have it sincerely when you let me fuck you back.” 

“That’s not sincerity, that’s sweet talk and glib words to deceive a stupid chick,” Huang Jinchen said all in one breath. 

Kou Tong, holding his head, fell over and rolled around. “Ah! I can’t take it, why are you so meddlesome! As Ma Wencai liked Zhu Yingtai, as Fahai liked Lady White Snake, as Zhao Kuangyin liked Li Houzhu², that’s how I like you, you scum, all right?!” 

Huang Jinchen was satisfied, feeling that this was sincere enough—who knew what CPU he had used to judge that; it had probably been taken out of some calculator… 

Then he obediently went to find Kou Tong something to eat. 

Though there was unrest in the world and the path ahead was unforeseeable, and there were many, many unhappy past events that they had yet to recall together; though all lives in the world were unable to escape the pain of existence…

Though the night was still approaching, they were together now. 

Not before, not later; now. 

As if amidst a surging sea and attack of waves that made it impossible to stand firm, a chain had suddenly reached out and tightly locked two people together. They had always been steadfast, and in the future they would be even more steadfast. 

The name of this chain was “being together.” 

Although in a person’s life, suffering was continuous and happiness was scattered, because of a few scattered points on the boundless line, people still felt full of hope. This had led humans through the grueling primitive society, through the lightless and unjust slave society, through the feudal society in which they struggled forward wearing tight yokes, still walking forward step by step. 

Because “expectation” was still alive. 

But this wasn’t a quiet night. Kou Tong’s mom took one of the picture books from when Kou Tong was little and told Manman a long-in-the-tooth bedtime story—for the little girl, this was already extreme favor, since her own mother had never treated her like this. Afterwards, she obediently laid down and went to sleep—to the sound of an extremely soft lullaby. 

Kou Tong’s mom watched her fall asleep, planning to go drink a cup of water then get her beauty sleep. 

Just as she had turned off the lights and was nodding off herself, all of a sudden, Manman’s little leg twitched, as if she had been frightened. Kou Tong’s mom woke and sat up, feeling around in the dark, and patted her little back. But Manman suddenly sat up, paused for a moment, then burst into tears. 

Kou Tong’s mom thought she had had a nightmare. She hugged her tightly. Patting her on the back, she said, “Don’t be scared, don’t be scared. Auntie is here.” 

Manman tightly clutched the cuff of her pajamas. Like a kitten, she said, “Auntie, my mom doesn’t want me.” 

Kou Tong’s mom froze. Manman continued: “I’m not a little monster…” 

Then, as if not knowing how to defend herself, she said, sobbing, “I didn’t grow up like this on purpose… I didn’t do it on purpose.” 

Kou Tong’s mom softly asked, “What do you mean, your mom doesn’t want you?” 

“There was a gas leak once,” Manman said, sobbing. “I read in a book that when there’s a gas leak, the people inside get carbon monoxide poisoning and die—I was so scared. I was dizzy and wanted to throw up, but my mom locked me in the house…” 

Kou Tong’s mom’s arms tightened around her. 

“Then I used a chair to pound on the window. I hit it over and over before I finally broke through. I brought over a stool and climbed onto the windowsill. My hands were covered in blood. I called for help, but no one could hear me talking, because I can’t use my mouth to talk… Then I used the blood to write ‘help me’ on the window, and finally an uncle in the building across the street saw and got the police to come…” 

Kou Tong’s mom didn’t know what to say, because she absolutely couldn’t understand how Manman’s mother could have done this, but she also couldn’t crudely explain to a child “your mother is a bad person.” What if the child grew up thinking that all the mothers in the world were bad people?

“Auntie, I just had a dream. In the dream, I couldn’t breathe. It was black all around me. There was no one there. There were many strange things floating around. I couldn’t run away no matter how hard I tried. I yelled, but no one heard. This time, there wasn’t even anywhere to write on to ask for help…” 

Kou Tong’s mom froze. She remembered Kou Tong telling her that the child was particularly sensitive towards others’ thoughts. Sometimes she would dream of special things. She shushed her, planning to go talk to Kou Tong about it. She carefully wiped Manman’s tears away. “Don’t cry, don’t cry anymore.” 

When she had managed to comfort Manman, it was already ten minutes later. 

Seeing little Manman calm down, Kou Tong’s mom quietly got up and went to knock on Kou Tong’s door. “Tongtong, I have something to tell you.”