A person’s mode of living is ordinarily related to his character. When two people are together, it remains to be seen whether the winds of progress will prevail, or whether they’ll encourage each other’s bad habits. 

Long ago, General Zhong had felt that Comrade Kou Tong was only a mild headache, seeing that while he wasn’t always before his eyes, when he really needed him, he could find him. But long after, when a bastard by the name of Huang had moved in with Kou Tong, General Zhong could no longer stand it. 

The combination of Huang Jinchen and Kou Tong wasn’t as simple as one plus one makes two. 

General Zhong sometimes thought that if you gave him the choice again, he would certainly have put Huang and Dr. Kou far, far apart. If you wanted a concrete value, then he hoped they would be ten thousand light years apart. 

General Zhong had always hoped for someone who could always be with Kou Tong, so there would be someone to take care of him or give him someone else to take care of. With something to worry about, he wouldn’t run around wildly all the time and spare General Zhong from mistakenly thinking Kou Tong had died out there when there was no news of him. 

But in all honesty, General Zhong thought, he had really never thought that Kou Tong would end up with Huang Jinchen—should he say that fated couples will always meet? Or that birds of a feather flock together? Or that flies go after shit…ah! 

At any rate, when they were apart, General Zhong could still manage to find where Huang Jinchen was busking, as well as the place where Kou Tong had broken his leg. When they were together, he couldn’t find either of them. 

When he couldn’t find them no matter how hard he tried, General Zhong did something very low—he cut off the wages of these two jerks who were nominally employed by his department. 

Therefore, Kou Tong, bringing along his family, appeared like a summoned magical beast…

At noon on a bright and sunny day, General Zhong was sitting in his office cautiously playing Minesweeper when his hand holding the mouse suddenly stopped; something hard was pointing at the back of his head. A familiar voice darkly said, “Give back the money, and I won’t kill you—” 

“…” General Zhong said, “Huang—Jin—chen! Fuck—you!” 

Huang Jinchen said, “Heheheh.” 

He removed the gun, went around in front of him, and plopped onto General Zhong’s desk. He leaned close. “What, is the base finally filing for bankruptcy?” 

General Zhong took a deep breath. “Absent without leave! Suddenly disappearing! Eating and not working! What the hell are you two up to? Huh? No organization, no discipline! Do you want to quit? Do you have any collective consciousness?!” 

“…” Huang Jinchen thought about it and timidly requested instruction. “Since when has the base had an urgent assignment?” 

General Zhong: “…” 

The two of them stared at each other for a while. Someone suddenly knocked on the office door from outside. General Zhong crossly said, “Get the hell in here!” 

Kou Tong walked in with a conspicuous smile. “Hello, instructor.” 

General Zhong rolled his eyes. With a fake smile, he said, “Your honeymoon vacation has gone on too long, hasn’t it?” 

Huang Jinchen said, “We put the marriage and maternity leave together.” 

General Zhong’s eyes flashed. “Who gave birth?” 

Huang Jinchen said, “It’s precisely because no one gave birth that we thought it wasn’t official enough and voluntarily changed it to a honeymoon vacation.” 

Listen to how much political awareness this comrade had. 

General Zhong adjusted his expression, striving to be serious. “Actually, I called you two back because we have some business.” 

Kou Tong and Huang Jinchen simultaneously said: “The money first.” 

A cheerful little vein popped up on General Zhong’s temple. “I’ll transfer it to your accounts in the afternoon, all right!?” 

Kou Tong pulled up a chair and sat across from him. “Go on, sir,” he said urbanely.

“The RZ Unit has requested the assistance of the special expert group.” General Zhong rubbed the bridge of his nose. “They’ll be here soon, about a secret society a Utopia extremist has established at the border. Many ordinary citizens have been pulled in. I don’t know the precise circumstances myself. When they get here…” 

Before he could finish, someone spoke from the doorway: “This thing is pretty annoying. They seem to have created their own faith, with all kinds of false reasoning and heresy, and gotten a big bunch of stupid villagers to join up as their ‘congregation.’” 

Kou Tong turned his head and saw the RZ Unit’s renowned “imperial diplomat” Su Qing leaning by the door, wrapped in a superbly tailored trench coat that fit him extremely well, one hand in his pocket, black rose-shaped earrings half-revealed in his earlobes. Put him in a shop window and you could use him as a display model. 

Still so flashy, General Zhong thought, closing his eyes. 

Huang Jinchen rubbed his nose a little awkwardly—after all, the person in front of him was the one he had chased through eight streets with a sniper rifle. Really…it was one thing to be friends in spirit without ever seeing each other, but why insist on meeting? Their friendship might die just as it saw the light of day; that would be pretty awkward for everyone. 

Kou Tong’s eyes immediately lit up. “Su Qing!” 

Su Qing’s slightly murderous gaze moved away from Huang Jinchen and immediately softened considerably. “Dr. Kou, what a pity I didn’t have a chance to see you last time I came to the base.” 

Kou Tong asked, “Where’s Captain Hu?” 

“Still in D City. I flew over on my own.” 

“Oh…” The corners of Kou Tong’s lips turned up irresistibly. He thought, Great. Then he confidently got up and extended his arms. “Since he’s not here, how about you come over here and give me a reunion hug?” 

Su Qing pressed on his temples. At first he thought this wouldn’t be very good, but when he glimpsed Huang Jinchen’s foul expression, he quickly changed his mind and stepped forward to hug the slightly flattered Dr. Kou. He patted him on the back and looked provokingly past Dr. Kou’s shoulder at Huang Jinchen, then took a breath and said, “Of course. The deal didn’t come off, but we’re still friends. It’s those who are destined to meet but not fated to be together who remain a scarlet beauty mark over the heart.” 

Murderousness floated over Huang Jinchen’s head. 

Su Qing looked at him and, in an excellent mood, said, “Didn’t whoever-it-was say that all people have white roses and red roses? Well, I think there’s something in that. If you’re always looking at one person, day after day, month after month, as time goes on, roses or not, the white starts to look like toilet paper and the red starts to look like sanitary napkins. It’s really so frustrating.¹” 

Huang the sanitary napkin took a deep breath, feeling that he was about to start leaking. 

Kou Tong only then noticed that he counted as a “family man,” gave two slightly awkward laughs, and let Su Qing go. Huang Jinchen grabbed him by the back of the neck and firmly pulled him behind himself. 

“Hey,” said Su Qing, just dying to make trouble, “there’s a shrew in the house.” 

“Pretty boy.” Huang Jinchen gnashed his teeth. 

“Jealous, are you?” Su Qing glanced at him and disdainfully said, “Dr. Kou, your aesthetic sensibility has suddenly become so twisted. You’ve suddenly turned from smiling beautiful youths to hulking, grimacing big men. Honestly!” 

Kou Tong’s expression twisted, because Huang Jinchen had pinched his waist. His gaze fell on General Zhong, who was sitting by and watching. The latter calmly averted his gaze, showing that there was nothing he could do. 

Kou Tong could only laugh awkwardly. “Ahaha…a return to nature, a return to nature.” 

The facts tell us that taking many wives can really be a sweet burden on a man. 

This case was handled without peace—because the special expert team’s so-and-so and the RZ Unit’s so-and-so fought like cats and dogs every day. 

Anyway, the only one really doing expert work was Dr. Kou. Huang Jinchen, mooching off the special expert team as a kept man, invested all his limited experience into an unlimited struggle. 

At last, after an armed group had broken down a door and caught the head of the terrorists, a man dressed in women’s clothes who was hiding among the village aunties, and the technicians had resolved the bomb threat, Captain Hu, pestered beyond endurance, boiled over. 

He picked the increasingly unreasonable Su Qing up…by the belt, put him over his shoulder, and dragged him away like a sack. 

…He even nodded calmly to Kou Tong in passing. 

Kou Tong: “…” 

He subconsciously shook out his shoulders, as though he was the one carrying someone over his shoulder. He raised his head and saw Huang Jinchen standing there with a fake smile. “Haha, come over here, we’ll have a chat about this.” 

Kou Tong took a deep breath. After being caught between two fires for over ten days, he thought there was really nothing for him to say; he should, like Captain Hu, simply haul Huang Jinchen by his belt, put him over his shoulder, and drag him away. 

So, thinking that it was better to act than to think, he pulled on Huang Jinchen’s belt and fiercely said, “That’s enough, shut up! Aren’t you done yet!” 

Huang Jinchen shut his mouth, waiting for his next move with a trace of expectation. Kou Tong pulled forward…and couldn’t budge him. Another pull…and still no movement. 

He breathed in from the diaphragm, drew back his hands, rubbed his palms together, and made a movement as though about to lift weights. 

Huang Jinchen: “Pfft…” 

He truly couldn’t bear to watch Kou Tong go to so much trouble, so he walked a few steps forward and put his arms around Kou Tong’s shoulders, cushioning his chin against the hollow of his shoulder. He leaned… Kou Tong, who hadn’t gotten enough sleep for several days in a row and was physically inadequate, took three steps back and nearly sat on the ground. 

Huang Jinchen at last let him go, raised his head, put an arm around Kou Tong’s shoulders, and patted. “Some smiling beautiful youth. That one is plenty shameless. Do you see the benefits of a grimacing Er-Pang now?” 

Kou Tong was blank. 

“I can keep a situation under control!” Huang Jinchen said with deep meaning and half-crouched. “Need me to carry you on my back?” 

Kou Tong pounced without a word of protest, thinking, Anyway, I won’t crush you to death. 

Indeed, Huang Jinchen wasn’t crushed to death in the least. He slowly walked away, carrying him on his back… Probably people could never be compared. Kou Tong, suddenly feeling thwarted, thought that he could never seem to become mighty. What could be done? 

On Huang Jinchen’s back, he made a decision. He decided not to give this thing meat to eat in the future. He had to thin him out! 

So, sunk in this beautiful illusion, Dr. Kou yawned, feeling his eyelids slowly sinking.